Ducky
Forum Replies Created
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Heck took Cloud’s point and hurried through his meal. He couldn’t help but laugh internally. He, a frat brother with no abilities, no tact, and absolutely no sense of direction, was making this bizarre cast of what appeared to be transhumans ‘uncomfortable.’
I guess the people still have all the power, he thought. This joke brought a visible smile to his face.
When at last he finished, he got up and headed for the door. Before he left, one last impulse came over him. “Bye, Spook!” He called into the building, before closing the door behind him and stepping gingerly out of the range of any surprise stabs.
(OOC: I’m assuming here that someone pointed Heckie to the exit during all the chaos)
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“Er. Uh. Okay,” Heck said, deciding not to fight it. He took a bite of the pancake. “Oh damn. That’s actually pretty good, Chef.”
On the one hand, this would be a pretty good arrangement for a first-year college student.
On the other hand, if fingers were getting chopped off around here, he’d have to give it careful thought.
Free room and breakfast, or safe hands?
He was horrified by the fact that this had become a legitimate question in his life.
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Heck breathed a sigh of relief. It was going to be a pain to type with the missing finger and all. This was, overall, a strange start to a day, but the loss of a finger is a lot less significant when it can be casually undone.
“Thanks, Doc,” he said, once again forgetting the no-nicknames rule. “Oh jeez, I’d better get out of here before I turn you all against me,” he said, half-seriously.
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“I suppose I’m being unfair to you, since you weren’t even here when it happened,” Heck said, “but seriously, Spooky there just goes ahead and chops a dude’s finger off and you guys want me to be all buddy-buddy with you?”
Considering that he just unthinkingly threw a nickname out, which seemed to be the cardinal sin of the household, he braced himself for the worst.
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“I feel like I’m being kidnapped,” Heck said, deliberately making his face go blank. “I’d hate to be the mailman for you guys.”
Did these people have no concept of the kind of trauma associated with the loss of an entire digit? He wondered about this internally, as they seemed to be trying to treat him like any other visitor after the incident.
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Heck grimaced and deliberately held out his hand with the missing finger to shake. “Craigslist told me,” he said. “Look, no offense, but you guys have taken enough pieces out of me for one day. I’m going to go cry into a six-pack of Saranac for a few hours.”
He buttoned up his coat – solely for dramatic effect – and paused.
“Where’s the door?”
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Heck leaned against the counter, cradling his missing finger, while the other residents of the building just fell asleep like nothing happened.
“I’m a college freshman,” he whispered to nobody in particular. “My name is Heckie Blair. Don’t ask. It’s Scottish.”
Something salty and watery collected at the bottom of his eyes.
“I have a paper due in three weeks and I need somewhere to crash. I heard this place was for rent,” he continued, looking at the blood-soaked bandages on his hand.
“I guess I’m less lucky than I thought.”
These final words, barely even audible, left his mouth, and he knew what he had to do. He had to get out.
Problem is, in the blind panic of being pushed around and in agony over his missing finger, he may or may not have lost track of the exit. He put his severed pinky in his pocket and got up to look around.
“I hope Spooky has a good lawyer,” he whispered to himself, wandering the halls in the darkness.
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A memo:
Close examination of Blair’s actions indicate that, while he is possessed of some goodwill, he is an ordinary human being. We chose not to intervene as he ascends to the place of a hero because the world has sat in the hands of our betters for too long.
It was on your recommendation that we baited him to this headquarters, Senior Advisor. So far he has lost a digit. While in the world of high adventure this may seem small, compared to the potential loss of a foot or hand or limb, it is still an entire finger. Heckie Blair is a human being, subject to shock, fear and anger in equal measure.
If you wanted to create a hero out of a man, you should have trained him. God forgive us should further harm come to him.
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“Ah, for Christ’s sake!” Heck shouted, clutching the stub where his now-severed pinky used to be. “Dude, what the hell! You don’t just go around chopping peoples’ fingers off! Oh piss, there’s blood everywhere. Jesus effing Christ, all I wanted to do today was go looking at places for rent and instead I lost a damn finger!”
Heck backed towards the door.
“You’re all flipping mental!”
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“He’s got a jam. I think he and I will be best friends. And don’t worry, Spook, I’m as happy as pie to crash on the couch somewhere.”
Heckie was never known for his tact.
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“Hello, the entire Internet, yes, this is an often-drunk frat brother calling to let you know that I found a house with a skeleton dog, a transforming kid and a guy who threatens people with scythes. Please send me an army,” Heck said, grinning, mimicking a phone with his hand.
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“Haha, chill out, dude. Nicknames are my jam. I’m ‘Heck’ and you’re ‘Spooky,'” Heck said. “And she…” He motioned towards Nova. “We’ll see what she is.”
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“Well, Spooky,” Heck said, addressing Bones, “it’s an online market website… thing? And seriously, dude, I don’t care nearly enough right now to make a stink out of it.”
He scratched his head again.
“I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ll take a free room if I can get it but ninety percent of the time that I’m here I’ll probably be chugging coffee and screaming at my laptop and the other ten percent I’ll probably be completely wasted.”
Something else occurred to him.
“Are you actually allowed to make that offer? Didn’t you say you don’t own the place?”
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“Hey look man, I appreciate the offer,” Heck said, still watching the wolf, “but – and I don’t mean any offense – this house kind of looks like a madhouse.”
“Frankly I should probably take a careful look in the mirror if I remind you of you.”
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At this point, Heckie Blair was well and truly baffled by circumstances.
“You guys are the ones advertising on Craigslist, right?”
Suddenly, he really hoped that the answer was “no,” and if it turned out to be “yes” they were about to get some very interesting reviews as soon as he got back to his friend Jeff’s attic and wi-fi.
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“Scientific? Dude, I’m just looking for a bed and a shower. I’ve got way too many classes on right now to be scientific,” he answered, staring leerily at the wolf.
“Why did you guys even put this place online? Who even are you?”