[Loaka of the Wind]

 

You beep at the speaker.

KNOWLEDGE ACQUIRED: No LANGUAGE module.

Woh, deja vu. The speaker talks to you in some strange language which you cannot process. It eyes you warily, perhaps aware that it is just barely WITHIN your REACH. If you had some sort of TOOL, you might be able USE the TOOL on the SPEAKER. Why, though, is a thought for another time.

[Loaka of the Wind]

You look up at this guy. It says a distinct nothing to you, clearly identifying its role as a speaker of some kind. The red eye watches you closely, as though judging you.

Moving on, you turn to the other thing behind you.

It’s also staring at you. Every movement you make causes the little red dot on that orb to follow you around. Creepy.
On the box is a screen and a keypad of some kind, though the symbols and the words on the screen don’t make sense to you. There’s also a mouse pointer on the screen, but no mouse. Creepier.

What now?

[Loaka of the Wind]

THIS OLD PLOT IS DEAD, LONG LIVE THE NEW PLOT —>

go to the other thread it’s the stickied one please

[Loaka of the Wind]

NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS NEWS

Almost two years after the first post, the News thread has seen a new post! We asked people on the street what they thought.

“Get away from me!”
“I’m calling the police.”
“Man, I’ve been waiting for ages for that thing! Okay, now wheres my money–”

 

In other, less important news, Press Start will be continuing again shortly, complete with new thread. This is due to a rise in the number of graphics tablets available to the creator, from zero to a whopping one. For now, enjoy this picture.

[Loaka of the Wind]

…. Not sure I want to remember something like that.

You, that is. Not sure you want to remember something like that. Gotta stick to the right perspective.

[Loaka of the Wind]

You let off a ‘beautiful noise’*, soothing all in the area.

Talking about ‘all in the area’ …

This guy emerges from the indistinct greyness that is the area you’re in. He seems to have not enjoyed your noises and is very slowly waddling towards you. He’s wearing some sorta weird robe, more like a sheet over his head.

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1KaOrSuWZeM <– the beautiful noise

[Loaka of the Wind]

You do all of these things but really only some of these things because some events prevent you from doing the rest of those things.

You take the J-LEVEL KEY-CARD. It has a picture of a gross, fleshy creature on it. Eugh.

You take the METAL MOP. You use it to do a dance on top of the box, along with the J-LEVEL KEY-CARD. Then, in a fit of aggression, you assault the box with vigour, as though to displace confections from its innnards.
Instead, you displace something else from its innards. You don’t see it because it HURTS.

…
…
…
…
>run start-up
>syntax error
>run startup
>syntax error
>run start
>syntax error
>start
>ERROR: commands for ‘start’ include ‘activation’, ‘destruct’, ‘egg’, ‘diagnostic’ … [59942 more commands omitted]
>start activation
>starting …

… ?
(You’re this guy now.)

[Loaka of the Wind]

THIS JUST IN –
I’m gonna do more stuff.
There’s going to be an art-style change.
This is 100% because I’m a lazy bitch.
Work is hard, shut up.
What? No. You can never have enough money.
What about my fans? I didn’t even know I had them.

[Loaka of the Wind]

Hm … time to think back on everything you know. Absolutely everything …

Starting from the start, you knew you were in a room. You found out you were missing your voice chip, that the speaker spoke a strange language, and that your shadow was Totally Normal. You remembered that you could read, that your mouth was drawn on with a marker.
You learned about HP, EP and INV, and how they have failed to affect your life so far. You found out that you didn’t know what wi-fi is (you still don’t), that there was a note on the back of your head and that it told you to not trust Vex (or maybe it told you not to trust Ral?). You made a mental note to trust and distrust Vex, wondered about voices and then tore apart the speaker. You discovered, to your merit, that you are some sort of cannibal robot and you were able to install the stolen voice chip from the speaker. You barely figured out the password to the door, activated your automatic mapping systems, discovered some rooms and opened a salmon-coloured door. You encountered a mystery thing and ran like a wuss at the first sight of it. You made a mental note to use and not use the back of your head as your new face, and then made the note to, once again, trust Vex. Unfortunately, you don’t know who Vex is (or Ral for that matter), or why you’re listening to these insane mutterings in your head. You’re afraid that the answer to that last part is ‘because you can’t think for yourself’.

Wow, that was a lot of thinking. You open that door and say hi to Dave. You categorise Dave under the growing list of ‘entities you don’t know’.

This appears to be some manner of storage locker. You can see:
An odd METAL MOP, somewhat taller than yourself.
A METAL BOX, that you can neither move nor open normally. There’s some sort of mechanism on the side.
A J-LEVEL KEYCARD. You only know that it’s J-LEVEL from the J-LEVEL KEYCARD printed on the other side.

[Loaka of the Wind]

You’re really not sure what to think. So, you decide instead to do. What should you instead do?

[Loaka of the Wind]

LAST TIME ON DRAGON BALL– uh PRESS START ADVENTURE …

You disturbed a thing in a room and ran away like the scared, defenceless little bot you are. Now that you’re here, you think about what you’re going to do. Peeking out to the left while panicking, you see …

… a whole load of nothing. Maybe it didn’t follow you? Could it have stayed in the room, as scared of you as you are of it? Regardless, you exit the room, flailing wildly, just in case. You smack into the wall, but nothing comes of it except a resounding CLANG. It seems the walls are made of steel.

Finally done with your panic attack, you head to the right instead.

Not much down here. There’s a pale blue door at the end, marked with a gear-shaped symbol. There’s also that turn to the left. If you recall that note with the map …

… Looks like that turn to the left might possibly loop around to where you were before.

[Loaka of the Wind]

(( Trip Hazard, a cool guy in a suit. Short blonde hair, a goatee, steel-blue eyes. Sharp black suit. Shining Aviator shades. He also summons elementals from alternate planes to do his bidding. Also, he’s a cool guy. Did I mention that he was a pretty cool guy? I feel like I did.

His favourite summon is his ice elemental named Tetska, who looks like a fabulously well-dressed man with long, flowing ice-hair.))

[Loaka of the Wind]

You scream a tinny scream that you are absolutely certain solved nothing. You don’t even have any apple juice — perhaps that’s worth screaming about too. Whatever it is inside the room looks at you for just a moment before vanishing from view.

In your continued panic, you run like heck, back to your safe place.

You’re back here now. There’s a something out there and it went somewhere you didn’t see. What will you do?

[Loaka of the Wind]

Well, the last door you wanted open (discounting all those other doors you wanted open) opened when you said that code … so you try again.

Unfortunately, this appears to be a regular-ass handle, with a key-lock on it. Your code falls on deaf ears, so instead, you knock on the door.

No response, but …

… the door swings open a little. It’s pitch black inside, except for the small amount of light that’s coming through from your side. You can’t see anything except for oh gods what the heck is that.

[Loaka of the Wind]

“I do not see why this is required,” Marchwood buzzed as he wandered over to the camera, “But I am a Beedrill of honour, so I will assist you in your mysterious endeavours.”
Flying up to the camera, Marchwood smeared a thick venom onto the lens, blotting out the view entirely.

“I am Sir Marchwood, Beedrill errant,” he turned to face this odd Houndoom, “Bound by codes of chivalry to help those in need. Tell me your name, sir, so that I may address you properly.”
He gave an odd bow, his mid-section bending unnaturally.