[Loaka of the Wind]

Try as you might, you can’t connect to a WiFi connection! The reasons you think this might be are:
1) You don’t know the WiFi password
2) There are no WiFi signals nearby
3) You do not have a WiFi-capable component anyway
4) What is a WiFis anyway, am I right?

You await another course of action. There’s surely something in this room you haven’t looked at, right? Something, anything … what could it be … ?

[Loaka of the Wind]

You read the notes. Finally. They’re quite informative, unlike almost everything else in this room. You sure are glad you checked those first, however!

That looks like your status screen! They also tell you what the things mean.

“1 – HP
Health points, an estimate of your
current health state and proximity
to destruction

2 – EP
Energy points, an estimate of your
current auxiliary power for secondary
systems usage

3 – INV
storage slots to hold secondary
items and tools – storage can be upgraded.”

Someone has also scribbled a number here for some reason. What could that be for? You turn the sheet over and — hey, look! More scribbles!

You’re not sure what any of this means. Unless you are, in which case, good job!

[Loaka of the Wind]

Ignoring all of the obvious plot hooks, you interrogate the door’s face with a hearty ‘beep’. It stares at you blankly.

NEW(?) KNOWLEDGE ACQUIRED: Voicebox Still Missing

Attempting to smile, you find yourself with an odd predicament. You don’t actually have a mouth.

NEW THEORY ACQUIRED: Mouth Drawn On With Marker

For now, you are stuck with the ‘=3’ expression. Perhaps if you acquired a MARKER you may be able to alter this.

The door says something to you that you don’t understand. It then says something that you do understand.
“PASSCODE? PASSCODE?”

[Loaka of the Wind]

@Ares
Yo, broseidon, I can assure you beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not your mysterious brochacho-bro. But give that bro a fist-bump, from one world to the next.

Though, I don’t think you necessarily need to be ‘out there’ to write a story. You don’t have to be creative either, technically, though I suppose we’re aiming for a something good. Creativity is good.

You know what they say: You don’t have to be crazy to work here, but it helps!

[Loaka of the Wind]

You decide to square dance around the room as a means of inspection. However, you have no idea how to square dance. Instead, you walk in a square pattern. You begin to rotate, giving you a better idea of the contents of the room.

There is a SPEAKER here. It DOES NOT SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE, whatever your language is.
There is a PILE OF RECTANGLES WITH WRITING here. You think you can READ them.

You turn more, facing away from yourself for once.

There is a CURIOUS DOOR here. It is probably LOCKED. The colour is, you decide, a HORRIBLE choice.
There is a CURIOUS DOOR DEVICE here. It is probably the LOCK. It is staring at you.

INSERT ACTION HERE.

[Loaka of the Wind]

NAME: Solar☆Nanamiyo~ NOTICE: SUBJECT’s name is FUJIWARA NANAMI.

AGE: Not telling~! NOTICE: SUBJECT’s age is approximately 23.

GENDER: Can’t you tell? NOTICE: SUBJECT is FEMALE.

NOTICE: SUBJECT has been warned about abusing APERTURE SCIENCE LABORATORY SUBJECT FORMs.

HAIR COLOR: Blonde NOTICE: SUBJECT’s hair is naturally BLACK. Dyes confirmed safe for testing purposes, except for tests involving EXPERIMENTAL WEAPON no.330.

EYE COLOR: Yellow NOTICE: SUBJECT’s eyes are naturally BROWN. Lenses confirmed safe for testing purposes unless exposed to DUONITRATE TRISULPHIC ARSENO-ACID COMPOUND.

SKIN COLOR: White NOTICE: SUBJECT is somehow telling the truth.

HEIGHT: 148.05382 centimetres

WEIGHT: 43.92 kilograms NOTICE: SUBJECT refused to answer question and was forcibly placed on scales.

INTERESTS: Singing, dancing, cute things, my fans, mint tea, kittens, fairies NOTICE: SUBJECT was forcibly prevented from answering this question further.

WORKS WELL WITH OTHERS?: Yes~! NOTICE: During PRE-SUBMISSION FORM PERSONALITY AND COMPATIBILITY TESTING SURVEY, SUBJECT was confirmed as CLASS 3 BARELY COMPATIBLE WITH OTHER HUMANS and has thus been highly recommended for further testing.

PICTURE:
(Attached is a signed picture of a young Japanese woman wearing a puffy yellow dress with a sun pattern. The dress has two plastic fairy wings attached to the back. Her hair is long, cut into a bob at the front and with two long braided ponytails hanging over her chest. A gold-coloured tiara with a sun-shaped plastic crystal sits on her head. Her footwear can only be described as impractical and her gloves look awkward.
The woman is pulling a dancing pose with a microphone and is winking at the viewer. A note is attached to the picture.)
NOTICE: SUBJECT has been re-assigned with APERTURE SCIENCE LABORATORY STANDARD TESTING UNIFORM CLOTHING ARTICLES for the duration of the testing.

[Loaka of the Wind]

You beep at the speaker. It turns out that you do not have a VOICE CHIP installed.
The speaker responds. It is distorted by static and definitely in a language you don’t understand.

NEW KNOWLEDGE ACQUIRED – Voice Chip Missing
NEW KNOWLEDGE ACQUIRED – Foreign Language?

You look down at the dark circle at your feet. You look up and see nothing but a roof of the same colour as everything else. You make the summation that this is ENTIRELY NORMAL for shadows and that your shadow will LIKELY REMAIN A CIRCLE for absolutely no reason in most circumstances.

NEW THEORY ACQUIRED – That Shadow is Totally Normal

You idly wish there was some sort of PILE OF DOCUMENTS around here that would explain things to you.
You momentarily ponder SEARCHING THE ROOM but think better of it.
You wonder if you have an INVENTORY but fail to follow through.

[Loaka of the Wind]

Don’t think anyone’s stopping you, brochacho. Share your story with us!

[Loaka of the Wind]

There was an old man from Peru,
Who dreamt he was eating a shoe.
He awoke in a fright
In the middle of the night
And found it was perfectly true.

“People are just as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
– Abraham Lincoln

[Loaka of the Wind]

Writing a haiku
Is best done during winter
When it is raining

Whatever you do
Don’t start a war in Russia
It is way too cold

Poems are easy
Except when they’re not easy
Refrigerator

[Loaka of the Wind]

It was wedged tight in the ground, but it felt like someone else was pulling at the blade to free it. As soon as the wolf had released it from the stone it had stuck itself in, the blade pulled itself out the rest of the way. It was a lot longer than it had looked at first, no simple great-sword but a two-handed blade, two metres long in total. The arcane inscriptions on its sides seemed to glow with a deep purple light as the blade hovered out of the hole and remained mere centimetres from the ground.

Thank you for assisting me, creature, the blade intoned. I sense you are a creature of intellect. I am Turmkligne, the Tower Blade. Can you speak?

[Loaka of the Wind]

The inset diamond pulsed with internal light, the dark circle contained within pivoting to stare at the strange beast. It looked around for a moment, flicking this way and that, before locking on to the wolf. The silent night was cold, with snow threatening this little path in the imminent future.

What a strange beast.

A voice came from everywhere and nowhere, as though from the mountain itself. It was a deep, powerful voice with a metallic resonance that spoke slowly, carefully.

Perhaps you may yet prove to be useful. Draw the sword from the stone. It matters not how.

The sword shook and shuddered for a moment, but it seemed stuck within the rock. It was clearly magical, perhaps even some sort of legendary artefact! Though it would take a little effort to free it, what was there to lose?

[Loaka of the Wind]

The mountain range stood solidly between two towns, dividing them cleanly. It was a rocky, dry landscape, where only hardy plants and hardier animals lived. It ranges from foothills of broken rock to a snow-capped peak that cuts the sky like a dagger, a white knife thrust at the gods by the ground itself. Through this mountain range are a number of paths, passes and make-shift tunnels, the necessities of two neighbouring villages. Some are well-trodden paths, clear-cut and mostly free of danger, paths to allow villagers to trade goods, services and gossip.

However, some of these paths are lesser known, cut into dangerous terrain or too close to the rumoured den of a beast, visited only by the brave, the foolhardy or the criminal. It was on one of these paths, several nights past, that a mysterious object streaked through the midnight sky and landed with a thunderous crash in the middle of a path. A great-sword of a deep grey steel and ornate design lay embedded blade-first in the rock of the path, directly in the path of any who would cross. It was incredibly ornate, inscribed with magical marks and decorated with gold, silver and a strangely designed grip of bronze, similar in pattern to a turtle’s shell. A solid cross-guard of the same steel of the blade was embedded with a massive diamond at its centre, visible from both sides of the blade. A strange black mark inside seemed to swivel and turn, like an eye searching for something. Somehow, the blade seemed to be waiting.

Recently, a rumour had been arising in both of the towns, popular way-stations for adventurers, gossips and traders alike. Balls of flame and strikes of lightning had been flaring from deep in these paths, bursting into the sky at night. No one has had the courage to investigate, wary of a powerful wizard, but the rumour has been spread through town.
Something is waiting in the mountain pass.

[Loaka of the Wind]

Name: Turmkligne, “Tower Blade”

Age: Somewhere around 23.

Appearance:
Turmkligne is a two-handed straight sword, roughly two metres long from tip to pommel. The blade is made of a dark steel, refined by dwarves, forged by giants and deeply carved with the runic markings of wizards. The grip is made of segmented metal plates that hide hidden blades to slice the hands of any who would try and wield it without permission. On the ornate cross-guard is a large spherical diamond that seems to glow from within, a roaming circle of darkness forming an ‘eye’ within it.

Species:
(Previously) Human.

Attitude:
Cruel, narcissistic and self-centred at heart, Turmkligne is a chronic liar with a lust for power. He cares only about himself but will play along with a fake personality if it will earn him something useful.

Habits/Hobbies:
Turmkligne constantly seeks power, generally in the form of magical knowledge. He reads obsessively from new magical texts and interrogates wizards on their secrets. He also enjoys games of strategy, such as chess.

Bio:
As a human, Turmkligne was a somewhat gifted and entirely paranoid wizard’s apprentice. Living with only his Master in his mage’s tower, he spent most of his days either stealing his master’s belongings to learn from them or attempting to get the old coot killed in a way that would look like an accident. Much to his chagrin, however, the Master had quite the same idea, leaving the whole tower a sort of mental duel between the two.
In his bid to stay alive, the Apprentice ordered a massive blade constructed, a nigh-indestructible piece of magically infused metal that would do one thing of value: In the event of his death, his soul would inhabit the blade as a second chance at life. It didn’t take long for this self-fulfilling prophecy of certain demise to take hold, much to the Apprentice’s dismay.
While rummaging through his Master’s spell-books, Turmkligne found an ornate book that he had never seen before. It seemed to tremble with untold power and, in his lust for what laid within, he hastily opened it without worrying about traps or trickery. Unfortunately, what was inside was the wrong kind of power: Every page was inscribed with a viciously powerful Exploding Rune. The ensuing blast destroyed the entire tower, every book and magical reagent in it, the Apprentice and his Master. Ejected from the area at high velocity, Turmkligne the blade whistled through the air and landed leagues away, embedded in a stone by the road-side.
Now he waits, waits for someone foolish– kind enough to draw him from the stone and aid him in his quest to dominate the realm– become a real boy once more.

An accomplished spell-caster, Turmkligne is still capable of all the magic he had in the flesh. The blade itself is latently able to hover, but it moves slowly and cannot free itself from the stone.

[Loaka of the Wind]

Searching for … You?

I am looking for someone new to roleplay with. I am looking for someone who is willing to try something new, or something old in a new light. The ability to be light-hearted is highly appreciated! I have a wide variety of plots and plans to suit all of your culinary– uh, role-playing needs.
I love playing new characters and challenging myself with something different every time. If you’ve got some outlandish new idea, run it by me and we can see what’s what.
PM me if you have an idea. PM me if you don’t have an idea. Just … just PM me and we can RP or something, I dunno.

I also talk about dirty things sometimes, but that’s for another place, another time.