“There is a photo, a single photo of a man on the desk here. He is wearing a tie. He is not tall or short, not thin or fat. His hair and nose are like mine, but his eyes – his eyes are black as obsidian and his smile. Noooo. It is not a smile. He must be wicked, this man. Dear Night Vale, please pray in your bloodstone circle for me, and pray too that no one should ever have to meet this vicious wretch of a man.“

My name is Kevin Free.

I’m the radio host here in Desert Bluffs.

I work for a happy, and smiling God.

Have a productive and work filled day, listeners!

Don’t forget to smile!

Look around you.

Strex.

Look inside you.

Strex.

Go to sleep.

Strex.

Believe in a smiling God.

StrexCorp. It is everything.